Well It's a start
Hmm... Story of my life. Think of an idea, go about doing it and then after some research find out, that I"m just a little too late and people have already accomplished what I set out to do, in a finer manner and faster.
I've sunk through levels of self-antagonizing nihilism and defeatism to come upon the realization that nothing matters. Now, don't get me wrong here, I don't mean it in a bad way. It's somewhat existential.
What is it, meaning through suffering and existence before essence and all that jazz of being alone in this life. I think Sartre, Frankl, Camus, and all those other crazies had it right. It doesn't really matter...unless you make it matter.
And, I'm not really sure if I want my life to matter. Sure, I"m just an average college student thinking of life and what-not, and I have my dreams, hopes and desires. But, it's rather intriguing why it should even have much impact.
Yes, I want to finally turn 21, then maybe become a professional poker player getting the WSOP circuit.
Yes, I want to learn play the game better and more efficiently, having a decent turn over of good games compared to bad games.
Yes, I still want to become a professional writer, and have hordes of fan at my beck and call. (sans the beck and call, seeing that would be somewhat creepy)
Yes, I'd like a lot more of life.
But, it isn't the money that calls me to the game of cards, or the fame to the writing. I think it's just that personally I need some sort of accomplishment in life.
This is just teenaged angst I suppose, seeing that its depressing and talks of hopes and dreams.
And it's a helluva of a way to start a new blog.
My personal http://www.livejournal.com/users/tygerofdanyte>journal was originally my only journal. But through some introspection came a longing to have a more authoritative and professional journal. Reading through journals of poker players, authors, and call girls, I've come upon the idea that I want to do the same.
More later in another entry telling you about myself and all the deviancy in my life.
Poker, alcohol, girls, and more.
in short, aggravated hollywood bullshit. What more can an amateur writer throw at you?
So I leave you with a peak into Howard Lederer's head during his four day journal stint from the 2003 WSOP. It lets me have new found respect for him as a player and the others discussed.
I'll talk about the quote in another entry. It's too loaded with information not to talk about.
-
Arun
I've sunk through levels of self-antagonizing nihilism and defeatism to come upon the realization that nothing matters. Now, don't get me wrong here, I don't mean it in a bad way. It's somewhat existential.
What is it, meaning through suffering and existence before essence and all that jazz of being alone in this life. I think Sartre, Frankl, Camus, and all those other crazies had it right. It doesn't really matter...unless you make it matter.
And, I'm not really sure if I want my life to matter. Sure, I"m just an average college student thinking of life and what-not, and I have my dreams, hopes and desires. But, it's rather intriguing why it should even have much impact.
Yes, I want to finally turn 21, then maybe become a professional poker player getting the WSOP circuit.
Yes, I want to learn play the game better and more efficiently, having a decent turn over of good games compared to bad games.
Yes, I still want to become a professional writer, and have hordes of fan at my beck and call. (sans the beck and call, seeing that would be somewhat creepy)
Yes, I'd like a lot more of life.
But, it isn't the money that calls me to the game of cards, or the fame to the writing. I think it's just that personally I need some sort of accomplishment in life.
This is just teenaged angst I suppose, seeing that its depressing and talks of hopes and dreams.
And it's a helluva of a way to start a new blog.
My personal http://www.livejournal.com/users/tygerofdanyte>journal was originally my only journal. But through some introspection came a longing to have a more authoritative and professional journal. Reading through journals of poker players, authors, and call girls, I've come upon the idea that I want to do the same.
More later in another entry telling you about myself and all the deviancy in my life.
Poker, alcohol, girls, and more.
in short, aggravated hollywood bullshit. What more can an amateur writer throw at you?
So I leave you with a peak into Howard Lederer's head during his four day journal stint from the 2003 WSOP. It lets me have new found respect for him as a player and the others discussed.
Sammy Farha is playing a huge pot with Bryan Watkins. The flop came Q72, and they both checked. The turn came (Q72) 4 and Bryan bet and Sammy called. The river was (Q724) J with no suits. Bryan moved in for over 200,000. Sammy thought for five minutes. He finally turned over the QJ and folded!! I don't know that I have that fold in me. I look around the room and see that there are still a lot of tough professionals left. Unlike, last year, when there were no bracelet winners in the last 21, this year I can see at least 9 bracelet winners in the final 27. I greet this news with mixed emotions. Winning this event will be tough, but Matt's great structure is doing its job. I feel like I will get more opportunities in the future, although I will face tougher fields when I do get my chances. It's a fair trade-off.
I'll talk about the quote in another entry. It's too loaded with information not to talk about.
-
Arun
posted by Bedtime Reviews at Monday, October 25, 2004
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